001. [20 Sep 2012|02:57am] [ music | elliott smith. ] abcdefriends only. 5 comments|post comment

[17 Oct 2005|01:49am] am_________pm 2 comments|post comment

[09 Oct 2005|04:39pm] Hannah. I'm really unable to express how I'm feeling right now; I don't know. I wish things weren't like this. Things happen for reasons though. But everytime I get hurt. I feel like I did exactly a year ago. I can't believe it's been a year since Robbie broke up with me, and I'm feeling so lonely. And I've known mike for about 2 months now, and I've gotten to know him. And I mean it's not like there is anything really special about him, but he has a gorgeous face like everyone says, but there's something about him, it just attracts me to him, or something. I want to see his face, it makes me happy. His smile, it's to die for. He's shallow, and sometimes a big asshole. But I love him to death, and if all we can be is friends well then I guess it's meant to be that way. I know you like him, and I'm sorry. You probably don't even want to be reading this, or be hearing about mike. I can't believe our best friend betrayed us like that, especially me. Out of all three of us, I don't know what you will think about me saying this, but I'm the most emotional one. And I can't handle what ashley did.. it cut me real deep. I don't know how to speak to her anymore, I can't trust her, honestly, I've lost all trust in her. And it hurts me so bad. I love you to death, I never want to lose you. This is going to be random at times, and just stupid. But I need to vent, and maybe at least you will care to listen. It's getting really cool outside, and it makes me happy. I love it when it's cold.. I had alot of fun last night, getting drunk. I can't believe i got drunk off only like 5 beers. I really want to do it again next weekend. I just scared myself, I thought next weekend I had court.. :'( But I have it two weeks from now. I'm going to miss everyone, I'm scared to death.. I can't handle life right now, I feel like I've gave it my all. And I've put nothing out, I mean.. I could have tried but I'm lazy, and stupid. My life is a wreck, and I just want to be happy. I was happy when I was drunk last night, It was insane, I can't believe I was all over aaron, at least that's what you told me. And I can't believe my mom came home when she did.. the cops got called, I was scared. I can't believe she hit me. I cryed in my room for hours, and I spilled my guts out to her about dad. And it hurt so bad.. Maybe all I want is a family, but then now i think about it, I just dont know. I dont know what I want, I want to be happy! It's so hard for me to get that simple thing, I get everything else I want, but happiness. Alright, I'm going to end this. I love you alot, you're my grrfriend tillthe end<33 post comment

[02 Oct 2005|06:06am] Gahhh! SCHOOL; I'm going back Monday, things will definetly be weird, but I can't say I won't enjoy it. I mean.. I now have Ashley back, and then Nikki, Amelia, Julianne, RANDI! But my poor Michelle is gone now, and I'm supposed to be getting a call from her today. I really miss her, and I feel lost without her. ANYWAYS! Saturday did not happen. Melissa hates me, whatevv. sha blah blah blah. f;lksdlrioerk32omdfa;sld, mfvmvcsd;d// hmmm. I'm really missing this one boy, I can't wait to see him monday! I'm stupid.. and switched my english class, and I totally could have had him in it, but noooo LINDY IS RETARDED. whatev, niggas better let me switch at least one class, or I'LL BE PISSED! ANYWAYS.. I HAVE A NEW JOURNAL!! finally.. this one was getting old. Your Superhero Profile Your Superhero Name is The Manga Rider Your Superpower is Radiation Your Weakness is Bald People Your Weapon is Your Caustic Pistol Your Mode of Transportation is Snowshoes What's your Superhero Name? 4 comments|post comment

[27 Sep 2005|02:16am] [ mood | shitty, dude! ] [ music | tilly. ] I'm really cold, and I'm kinda shaky, and I don't know what's wrong with me.. Tonight was alright, my grrrlfriend and otchy came over. I finally bought cigs, I gave the man such a hard time at the gas station, it was horrid. My mom really fliped shit tonight, scared Hannah and Ashley outta my houuuuuse! It was gay as hell. So listen.. my mom comes home and asks me where all the krispie creams went, and right away blames me. I LOVE HOW SHE THINKS IM SUCH A FATTY. I ate half of them, and Amber ate the other half, hahha it was actually funny, It was a great reason to cus her out. Haha. Anyways, I was going to go to school today, but I don't feel like it anymore, I have real bad cramps. I always have the lamest excuses.. ]: hahaha, this entry is going no where.. I talked to Michelle tonight, she might be coming back in a month, but kristi on the other hand, I have no clue, I just want them both to come back, and everthing will be like normal and everyone including me will be happy. Gahhh.. I miss Aaron, and I'm not sure if we're even going to hang out anytime soon, again. I've been trying to get myself together, and on track, and i dont know if it's cause of my damn period or what, but I've gained weight like an animal, dude, it's insane. I feel like shit, and I feel shitty just walking out of the house. Today was the first time in a while going out of the house, only because I was getting cigs, haha.. but I felt so disgusting.. and it's so gay. dsfkjsdfsdfsdkjghsdafwnsrk post comment

[24 Sep 2005|02:44am] [ music | the sound of smacking thighs. [I'll keep you guessing] ] 13 comments|post comment

[23 Sep 2005|08:58pm] my two favorite people.. leaving; tomorrow at 3. I couldn't stop crying. my days aren't going to be the same anymore. this is all so stupid, and I feel like i'm going to cry again. happy birthday again, krust. michelle, I love you more than you'll ever know, and I'm glad I got to spend the last month with you, it was just like old times, but better♥ post comment

homecoming is gay. [21 Sep 2005|03:50am] [ music | The Acacia Strain ] I've been wanting to go back to school. I need to get my books out of Erika's locker, and I forgot her com, eh.. well I guess that sucks. I was going to go back today, but I'll just wait for thursday.. Anywho, I'm going on a liquid diet, how interesting. Oh, and I'm soon getting the other side of my lip pierced, snake bites.. it better look good. OTCHY is coming over after school today, I'm going to go buy cigs with her. I haven't had one a 2 days.. gahh. I was going to go to homecoming, but screw that. 15 bucks plus a dress I won't ever wear again, not worth it. But if I was going with Hannah to Athens.. then it would be totally worth it. But nahh, whatev. I was going to go with this one boy, but screw it. 10 comments|post comment

002. [20 Sep 2005|04:00am] [ music | my american heart ] haha, so I love being in troy. & I miss mark myatt alot.. & so does my boo. keep that in mind. markkkkfu; ): ( Read more... ) edit: I'm thinking about going to homecoming, with this one boy. I'm not getting my hopes up @ all. Not this time. 3 comments|post comment

[18 Sep 2005|05:01am] I was walking home from Michelle's house.. down Wanda, and if you guys don't know where that is.. it's a street by mine where it's like full of buildings.. and creepy working places.. I have no clue, but it's like a dead end kinda thing by the railroads, and lots of creepy black people walk around there. BUT MY POINT IS... It was 5 in the morning, and some guy slowed down by me and opened up his car door and said "hey babe, want a ride home" OKAY, WTF. I'M SERIOUSLY SO FUCKING CREEPED OUT RIGHT NOW, YOU HAVE NO IDEA. WHO DOES THAT?! I want to lock my windows and doors and hide in my blankets. ): 4 comments|post comment

[14 Sep 2005|08:27pm] [ mood | cold ] I'm sick of girls, especially ones that are all like lindy you're cute, and will you marry me? Stupid lesbians leaving me messages on myspace, It's really making me feel disgusted. I can't even talk to Jessica Bean without feeling annoyed.. not that it's anything like that, because It's not. I'm just going to be a-sexual for the rest of my life, I seem to have better luck with girls than I do with guys. & that's really not something I can say I'm proud of. On a lighter note.. I'm pretty happy that I got to see my boo last night. Things are finally getting better, friendship wise.. Other than that.. school has started and I'm in this very depressing mood all of a sudden. Ashley Callebs seems to make me smile whenever I see her. & I really want to hang out with her more. At the end of school last year, I couldn't say I knew much about her, even though I considered her one of my best friends, but now.. it's like I know alot more about her, and I honestly thought that would never happen. I adore her, and Hannah. I don't know what I would do without them. Like I said.. I got to see Hannah yesterday; I hung out with Aaron, Ashley and her. It was pretty fun, except for when we were at china 1 and I really embarassed myself. It was so hot yesterday, I thought I was going to die or something. I felt like shit the whole day, and I didn't sleep that night, and when I came home, I got a really bad cold. I feel sicker than ever, and it sucks. I had alot more to say, but I'm too tired to remember it. 6 comments|post comment

close your eyes, count backwards..♥ [13 Sep 2005|12:11am] [ mood | happy ] [ music | the velvet teen- no one will ever love you ] So today was supposed to be my first day of school, but uhmm.. I guess my alarm clock hates me. I stayed home & talked to Nikki most of the day. I ended up talking to Robbie about some things, I'm not happy with how it ended.. hoenstly. I'm really upset that there's not a thing I can do about this. If you really like a person, then you put everything else behind you.. meaning just because we go to different schools doesn't mean we won't be able to see each other everyday. Maybe I just don't understand, maybe I won't ever forget about him, and it's really going to affect things. Okay, enough about that.. Tomorrow SHOULD be my first day of school, I'm waking up @ 6, and I'm leaving early to talk to my counceler, or whatev. I've made it twere I have all my classes with michelle, I wonder how that will go. /: ( Read more... ) Tomorrow after school, I'm hanging out with Hannah & Aaron, which makes me really happy. I miss my boo, and I haven't seen her in a while. Well, like 4 days, :] 1 comment|post comment

[10 Sep 2005|05:06am] [ music | the agony scene ] I keep putting this entry off, I don't know why. Summer ended about 3 or 4 days ago. I haven't been to school yet, I plan on going monday. I'm getting a few of my classes switched.. possibly. MARKA'S SHOW IS NEXT FRIDAY;SATURDAY. I'm taking the two hottest girls ever, Danielle and Michelle. Hannah got pissed, because she says that's all I seem to care about lately.. is Michelle. eh, she always does that. She doesn't want me to have any friends. BUT, Saturday they're going to be at troy daze, I'm excited. Tonight I went to Larry's, I haven't seen him in so long. I'm glad I went over there. Ashley is spending the night there, me and Hannah left with Nick, and we got stuck in traffic at 3 in the morning, because they were closing the express way off. Uhm, we sat in the car for about half an hour smoking and listening to dashboard and from autumn to ashes. It was actually nice.. and it wasn't a bad bored, it was weird. We went and got cigs and then he took me home, I kissed my boo goodbye, and now I miss her. I actually miss michelle alot, It's been a week since I've seen her. I'm praying that monday I don't wake up late, and that I go to school finally. I heard I was missing out on alot already, chyea. I was going to switch my gym class to next semester, but I think I'll stick with 1st semester, 2nd hour. I have it with Nikki and Michelle. <33 I was reading back on some of my older entrys, and I realized how stupid I sounded, and lame. And noticing I actually got 20-30 comments on the randomest entrys. hahh.. But I also realized how much I miss a few people. I promised myself I wouldn't come back to saying this.. but I miss Alex, and Kaitlyn? But especially Mary. They were my life for so long, and I always find myself looking back at the pictures, and remembering the partys, ehh. I need to give up.. Alex and I have been talking alot, she wants to see me, she says. I guess she wants me to go to a football game with her at sterling. And her and Nikki have tennis games, I always say I'll go, but it never happens. I guess I just have to want to, first. I never thought I'd hear this coming from my mouth again.. but uhm.. i think.. i could possibly.. miss robbie. OR that feeling I had.. when I was.. with him. SKDLJFSDF. stfu. I LOVE THESE TWO! My throat's been killing me, I don't know why, but I have a feeling it has to do with all the smoking; I think I might go to the doctors, I'm worried. :/ I have stupid pics from summer, and from the last few days. ehh, entertain yourselves with these or something. ( Read more... ) Okay, there's this really fucking annoying bird chirping outside my damn window, it sounds like a fucking elaphant dying, wtf. 3 comments|post comment

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